Well, I have pretty much been on a diet since I was in 4th grade. I remember we went on a diet as a family, my dad, brother and I, (my mom weighed around 110, so she never had a need to diet even though she always worried about her weight). It was the hotdog diet, I remember only eating what I was told I could. My mom got the diet from somebody and I remember it was centered around being able to eat hotdogs without the bun of course. I woke at the end of three days excited because I just knew all my extra fluffiness would be gone. Of course it wasn't, I clearly remember waking up, pulling back the covers and looking at my legs. I don't know what I expected to see, but whatever it was I didn't see it. That is how I found it, going on a diet wasn't a miracle and weight didn't just melt away. Well, that summer my mom and I went walking everyday and did exercises at home. I ate only what my mom feed me and all the extra baby fat I had on me just feel off. That was the first diet of thousands.
I never really understood how to diet. I just knew that if you didn't eat, if I starved myself, the weight would fall off. I used to wonder where it went because I couldn't see it actually fall off my body. LOL.
Once, I had a friend from out of town over to spend the night. My mom had to work, so we stayed home. My friend and I ate chicken nuggets until we were literally sick. My friend went to the restroom and put her finger down her throat because she said she was sick. I told my mother about it and I will never forget what she said.................... "Well, that is good, you will see that she will never have a weight problem because she is watching it now and doesn't want to get to big." Now, as an adult I realize that my mom wasn't telling me to go put my finger down my throat, but as a 14 year old, that is what I heard."
Did I do this later in life, yes, I sure did. But that is about 7 years away.................. Which equals another 5 to 6 blogs away. LOL
You know as I read this I am trying to remember my very first diet..I really didn't have a "weight" issue until college..but of course I wasn't thinking about dieting in college, plus I was still a pretty decent size, just belly fat start to really develop. My first diet was trying Jenny Craig when I graduated and moved back home..because of what the doctor told me would help me if I wanted to MAYBE have kids...of course that's when I told I was overweight and my fat cells were storing my estrogen and if I lost weight I may spontaneous ovulate and get pregnant. Well needless to say that never happened...I did loose some weight, but needless to say that didn't help me get pregnant..and that just started another phase of my depressive life and led to further eating to hide my depression and not deal.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you acknowledge the difference between what was actually said and what you interpreted as a teen. This is critical, as it focuses your energy on using specific language to identify the source of your feelings and thoughts.
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