The fight continues

Well, my dad's attitude didn't change, not at all. He was just as up beat and positive as he always was. He was confident that he would beat it again, the doctor was opotmistic, the doctor's attitude was, "you will beat it again, and it will return, and we will go at it again." You see my dad had small cell lung cancer, this type of lung cancer spreads quickly. My dad had beat all odds, even the doctor said that he had never had a patient like him.

I was still losing weight, I was working out with a trainer, things were going well. I had kept my dad's illness low key at work, however, with it being the end of the school year, I had to call my boss to let him know why I would be out of the building a little more than normal the last weeks of school. I took off work and drove my parents downtown to Peidmont hospital where they would be doing the procedure. The cancer was spreading to his liver, so the chemo was put in through his groin area, the chemo was little crystals that were supposed to stop the blood flow to that particular area, and kill the cancer cells. The procedure went smoothly.

Daddy didn't bounce back this time like he normally did. His energy level was low, he didn't feel well, he didn't eat, things were just bad. During this time I was in a relationship and the relationship wasn't going well either. I knew that he was cheating, lying, etc. but I honestly didn't have time to focus on him. My daddy was my only interest.

Inside, I was stressed, outside you would've never known. I cried on a three-way call with Shona and Cher, after that, I just moved forward. I had to be strong. I started missing training sessions, I stopped eating properly and went back to my old way of eating. I was just exsisting.

Things feel apart quickly, I mean quickly. We all held on to hope and prayer even though I had started to except God's will.

Terry (my boyfriend) and I had planned a trip to the Essence festival the weekend of July 4th. Since I had been working long hours, driving to Newnan almost everyday, working online, just not sleeping, etc. My friends were going to Hilton Head, it was supposed to be my birthday trip. I felt guilty for going, but my dad and mom wanted me to go. It was only a two day trip. The trip was horrible. I was in a bad mood, I was nervous, I called my boyfriend, his blue tooth picked up, I heard him in the car with another female, he must've had his phone on silence, and didn't realize. I didn't share this with my friends at first. Then to top it all off, my childhood neighbor called to ask me what was happening at my mom's house. I was like "what are you talking about" she told me that it was an ambulance at my mom's house.

Okay, I can't write anymore. This is too much. I need to go back, I am leaving for a 10 day vacation. I will pick up when I get back.