I took it serious at first. I followed the doctor's orders, I followed the diabetic diet, I took my meds, I checked my blood sugar like I was supposed too. Then............. I got off track, I figured out that I could cheat a little and be okay. Well, it went from cheating a little bit, to cheating a whole lot.
I didn't like this stupid disease, not at all. The thing about being a diabetic is................. it is internal, so you really can't see what is going on, and some days, you can't feel it. Truth of the matter is, this disease kills you slowly internally and you don't even realize it. You can trick yourself, trust me I know. I would eat all the wrong stuff, then take an extra pill, drink a lot of water and get my blood sugar back down. Right before it was time for me to do my fasting blood work for my doctor, I would straigthen up. For about 3 to 4 weeks, I would be the perfect diabetic. Then I would go, do my blood work and the doctor not know. You see, the doctor made the mistake of telling me how the blood recycles itself blah, blah, blah. So, I figured out how to keep my doctor from knowing that I wasn't really doing right. PUTTING THAT IN WRITING MADE ME REALIZE I WAS SO STUPID!!!! You see, I have this thing called Nicole's logic. That was Nicole's logic. Yeah, I fooled the doctor, but at the end of the day, I was only HURTING myself.
You see, in my mind, as long as I had the medicine, I was fine. I mean I didn't have high blood pressure, my cholesterol was good. All that was wrong was my SUGAR was a little high.
Well, after about 3 or 4 years of my SUGAR being a little high and me manipilating the doctor, the below happened:
- I developed high blood pressure. (I now know that the reason most diabetics have high blood pressure is because of the sugar in your blood. So even though I didn't have high blood pressure at first, years of too high sugar levels made this happen)
- The tips of my fingers lost a lot of sensitivity. (Years of pricking myself to check my sugar, caused the tips of my fingers to harden. This is something that happens to all diabetics)
- Developed extra scabby skin on my feet. I have to keep my feet done. I won't even go into this, because I am sensitive about my feet.
- Vision got worse. Yeap..........
Now, other things happened as well..........
You see when your blood sugar is high or low you just don't feel good. Actually, you feel like crap. However, you become so used to feeling like crap that you don't even realize you don't feel good. Well diabeties also affects:
Your energy level
Your attitude
Your mood
I had NO energy. All I wanted to do was sit, but I couldn't so I would PUSH through. Well, pushing through no energy makes me irriatable! When your blood sugar isn't stable, meaning it spikes because you don't have it in check, your mood spikes with it. Now that my sugar is in check, people tell me how moody and how mean I was. It actually hurts me because those of you who really know me know that I am the opposite of mean. So for people to preceive me as mean hurts me deeply.
Okay, this post is geeting too long. I have so much more to say about my years as a diabetic, and how this disease affected me.............. I have some new not so good stories to tell ya'll......... Stay tuned.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I hate the doctor's
Well, the doctor could see me the next day.
When I got there they took my blood pressure, and a lot of blood work. She also pricked my finger and listened to me tell her all of the issues I had been having. After it was all over, she said.... you are a diabetic. She was like, your fasting blood sugar is 187, which is high. I am going to put you on this one medicine until your blood work comes back in. When I have all of your blood work, we will meet and go over everything.
I was beyond devastated! I left feeling numb. The first person that I called was my friend Cher. Cher is my line sister from college and one of my closest dearest friends in the world. You can always count on Cher to keep it 100% honest with you, even when you aren't in the mood for it. Cher is also a Pharm. D, so any medicine I have to take, I always run it by her. It's nice to have your on personal pharmacist.
For some reason, I met Cher for lunch at Maggiono's. She was still in disbeleif too, and was adament that it was impossible for me to be a diabetic. Remember, the doctor had only listened to my symptoms and had only done a finger test. My official blood work wasn't back. I showed Cher my meds, and she told me all about the side effects and how one of them makes you pretty much have the runs.
My blood work was back. I met with the doctor, I was a diabetic. My A1C number was a 13 which is extremly high.
The doctor had me go to the diabetic nutrition class, blah, blah, blah.............
When I got there they took my blood pressure, and a lot of blood work. She also pricked my finger and listened to me tell her all of the issues I had been having. After it was all over, she said.... you are a diabetic. She was like, your fasting blood sugar is 187, which is high. I am going to put you on this one medicine until your blood work comes back in. When I have all of your blood work, we will meet and go over everything.
I was beyond devastated! I left feeling numb. The first person that I called was my friend Cher. Cher is my line sister from college and one of my closest dearest friends in the world. You can always count on Cher to keep it 100% honest with you, even when you aren't in the mood for it. Cher is also a Pharm. D, so any medicine I have to take, I always run it by her. It's nice to have your on personal pharmacist.
For some reason, I met Cher for lunch at Maggiono's. She was still in disbeleif too, and was adament that it was impossible for me to be a diabetic. Remember, the doctor had only listened to my symptoms and had only done a finger test. My official blood work wasn't back. I showed Cher my meds, and she told me all about the side effects and how one of them makes you pretty much have the runs.
My blood work was back. I met with the doctor, I was a diabetic. My A1C number was a 13 which is extremly high.
The doctor had me go to the diabetic nutrition class, blah, blah, blah.............
Still traveling.........
After Cancun, there were a few more trips....... Memphis, Bahamas Cruise, and Philly.
Let's see..... Memphis, was cool, good food but a lot of walking. We tried a lot of new restaurants, and saw some major tourist attractions. I got to go to Graceland.... I love Elvis (seriously). Shona went to the races on her own one night because it was just too much for me. I stayed in the room.
Philly....
Shona and I went to Philly to visit my cousins Robert and June. They are an older couple that have been married for over 60 years. They are so much fun, so full of energy and life, you honestly forget that they are in their late 70's early 80's. During this trip I got sick. I mean I didn't get sick to the point that people noticed, but I got sick till the point that it scared me.
You see the first night that we arrived, we took a limo ride to Deleware and ate at this nice seafood restaurant. While at the restaurant, I had trouble catching my breath, I felt honestly like I was dying. I excused myself from the table and went to the bathroom. I sat in one of the chairs and tried to catch my breath. I was also sweating really badly and my vision was blurred. I must have looked real crazy because a lady came in the restroom and asked if I was okay. Then she was like do you need an ambulance. I just sat for a few more minutes, finally caught my breath then I went back out with everyone else. I told my cousin, who is more like an Uncle that I was okay, just had a little cold. We ate and went on with everything.
To get to our room you had to walk up stairs. It was only a few stairs, but I had to stop in the middle of the stairway because I couldn't make it up all of them. My 80 year old cousin gets up every morning at 5 and walks 5 miles. LOL. He asked me if I wanted to join him. Yeah, right. I know it was his way of trying to address my weight. His wife (who I love) mentioned to me in casual conversation that her good friend who had a Ph.D was a diabetic and didn't take care of herself, now she is blind, and has lost one of her legs. She also mentioned that she had a lady friend from the church who had surgery and lost a bunch of weight. Now, I know Ms. June, she was talking to me without saying, Nicole we are worried.
Before we left for our next trip which was a cruise, I noticed some things. I noticed that my toes tingled a little. I noticed that I had less energy than normal. I also noticed that I was sleeping more and I was sweating really badly at night. I ignored everything, which is something that I am really good at. I remember one night I was eating a large gallon thing of ice cream, half way through I felt so sick, I started sweating really badly, and my head felt weird. I went to bed, it was probably 6:00PM, I didn't wake up again until 8:00AM, those of you that really know me, you know that I am a morning person and sleeping until 8:00AM is rare for me.
Well, time for the cruise. Notice, I haven't mentioned diet in a long time. That's because I wasn't on one anymore. Remember, that lady told me I didn't need to diet.
Shona, my friend Pam, and I left for the cruise. We drove to the port. On the cruise, I was more thirsty than normal. So, to quench my thirst, I had adult frozen drinks. Well, after a few of those, I noticed again, man I feel bad. On the way home from the cruise, I was driving, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. We had to pull over and Shona or Pam (I can't remember) had to drive. On the drive back I called my doctor's office and made an appointment.
I hate going to the doctor...............
Let's see..... Memphis, was cool, good food but a lot of walking. We tried a lot of new restaurants, and saw some major tourist attractions. I got to go to Graceland.... I love Elvis (seriously). Shona went to the races on her own one night because it was just too much for me. I stayed in the room.
Philly....
Shona and I went to Philly to visit my cousins Robert and June. They are an older couple that have been married for over 60 years. They are so much fun, so full of energy and life, you honestly forget that they are in their late 70's early 80's. During this trip I got sick. I mean I didn't get sick to the point that people noticed, but I got sick till the point that it scared me.
You see the first night that we arrived, we took a limo ride to Deleware and ate at this nice seafood restaurant. While at the restaurant, I had trouble catching my breath, I felt honestly like I was dying. I excused myself from the table and went to the bathroom. I sat in one of the chairs and tried to catch my breath. I was also sweating really badly and my vision was blurred. I must have looked real crazy because a lady came in the restroom and asked if I was okay. Then she was like do you need an ambulance. I just sat for a few more minutes, finally caught my breath then I went back out with everyone else. I told my cousin, who is more like an Uncle that I was okay, just had a little cold. We ate and went on with everything.
To get to our room you had to walk up stairs. It was only a few stairs, but I had to stop in the middle of the stairway because I couldn't make it up all of them. My 80 year old cousin gets up every morning at 5 and walks 5 miles. LOL. He asked me if I wanted to join him. Yeah, right. I know it was his way of trying to address my weight. His wife (who I love) mentioned to me in casual conversation that her good friend who had a Ph.D was a diabetic and didn't take care of herself, now she is blind, and has lost one of her legs. She also mentioned that she had a lady friend from the church who had surgery and lost a bunch of weight. Now, I know Ms. June, she was talking to me without saying, Nicole we are worried.
Before we left for our next trip which was a cruise, I noticed some things. I noticed that my toes tingled a little. I noticed that I had less energy than normal. I also noticed that I was sleeping more and I was sweating really badly at night. I ignored everything, which is something that I am really good at. I remember one night I was eating a large gallon thing of ice cream, half way through I felt so sick, I started sweating really badly, and my head felt weird. I went to bed, it was probably 6:00PM, I didn't wake up again until 8:00AM, those of you that really know me, you know that I am a morning person and sleeping until 8:00AM is rare for me.
Well, time for the cruise. Notice, I haven't mentioned diet in a long time. That's because I wasn't on one anymore. Remember, that lady told me I didn't need to diet.
Shona, my friend Pam, and I left for the cruise. We drove to the port. On the cruise, I was more thirsty than normal. So, to quench my thirst, I had adult frozen drinks. Well, after a few of those, I noticed again, man I feel bad. On the way home from the cruise, I was driving, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. We had to pull over and Shona or Pam (I can't remember) had to drive. On the drive back I called my doctor's office and made an appointment.
I hate going to the doctor...............
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