Well, during college, I really started hiding my eating. I had a job so I had money and I had a car. I feel in love with Real Coke, and would chug 2-liters a day, I feel in love with snickers, and I would eat 3 to 4 of them a day. I also feel in love with chips, Krystals, McDonalds, and the Huddle House. My roommate was a manager at KFC, so I feel in love with KFC. I was a waitress at Shoney's and Ryan's so I feel in love with their food too. I also feel in love with candy, jolly ranchers, skittles, etc. I just kept picking up bad habit after bad habit.

Well, I pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha while in college. We were getting ready for a step show and it was time to get our outfits. I was working at Goody's part-time (I have worked some of everywhere) and they had these cute green suits. Everybody agreed on the suit.............. only one issue! Everybody was a size 2, a size 4, a size 6, but me...... I was a size 16. The suit wouldn't fit me, so I had to have my suit made. I was so hurt, so humilated, so embarrassed. My sorors didn't make a big deal out of it, and acted as if it was all okay. But, to me it wasn't. It was just another knock to my already low self-esteem.

Yes, I just mentioned low self-esteem...... if I would've wrote this back in 1996, I would have never said that I had low-self esteem. I mean, I grew up being told I was pretty every day of my life. People would stop me on the street and tell me I was pretty, I was beautiful, I had pretty skin, a pretty smile, etc. So there was no way I had low-self esteem. Well, I did.......... I had bottom of the ocean self-esteem, and the more weight I gained, or the more disappointment I had, the lower my already extra low self-esteem became. I will speak more about my self-esteem issues later. Back to the subject.

Well, I picked up my home-made green suit, and it fit, but...... it didn't fit like everybody elses did. The pants were "in the water" but, I didn't have a choice, I had to wear it......... In my mind, it was my fault because I was fat and it was my fault that I couldn't control my weight.

I made it through the step-show, and I have the video to prove it.......