Traveling.....

That summer, Shona and I were really traveling. We would wake up, decide we were bored, get online and book a trip.

Let me start with our Cancun trip. We rarely sat next to each other on the planes, Shona would be like, we don't have to sit together, and I wanted so badly to tell her, I need you to sit next to me........ but that pride is a crazy thing. I was too proud to tell my sister the following:
- I have to get a seat belt extension
- The arm rest doesn't go down, so if the person next to me wants to let it down, I sit in pain the entire ride.
- I am so big I really need two seats, so I have to sit forward so I won't smush the person next to me.

But, I didn't tell her, I just suffered. You may be asking yourself, what would telling her have done? Well, she wouldn't have cared if I needed the arm rest up. She is smaller so I would have had the arm rest up, plus a few inches from her seat, and she wouldn't have cared if our shoulders touched. A stranger does not want to ride on a plane for 3 to 4 hours with someone and be practically sitting in their lap the entire time.

So ALL plane rides were miserable. They became so miserable that I finally just stopped traveling. I made up lies as to why I couldn't. But the real reason was.......... I was just too big. Okay, now moving on with the story.

Don't get me wrong! I had a blast in Cancun, but it was a limited blast. There were so many things I wanted to do, but physically I just couldn't. Shona went to the ruins, God I so badly wanted to go, but I knew I couldn't. This soon became a trend. The trend became, me wanting so badly to explore, to do things, but not being able to, so I just didn't. I pretended it didn't interest me. I would even say....... You go ahead, that really doesn't interest me.

Shona and I got into a fight on that trip too. We sure did and it was a weight related fight. We were on the bus in Cancun and it was something one of us wanted to do, and I couldn't because of my weight and she said something and it struck a personal nerve. When I say a personal nerve, I mean, it really had nothing to do with Shona, it had everything to do with Nicole. Shona was just the innocent by stander who got caught in the fight, because she was the one that was there. As I blog, you all will notice that poor Shona ends up being the innocent person that takes the venting a lot. It's hard to believe that she has still hung around and stuck all this out with me.

Well, I gave Shona a piece of my mind. I let her know that I weighed over 300 pounds and I couldn't and she didn't understand because she wasn't fat. Trust me, that Shona will give it back to me, so she told me her thoughts. It is funny now.

I actually came home from Cancun a day early. Not because Shona and I had an arguement. The fight just lasted the bus ride, we were done when we finished riding the bus. I honeslty came home because I was miserable and uncomfortable and couldn't take anymore!

I came home digusted, hurting, miserable, and dying on the inside. I felt hopeless..... So I did what I do best I ate.

That was the best part of traveling back home. I had a lay over in Houston, so I got to eat American food. You see, I did not eat much in Cancun because I didn't care for the food. So, when I got to the Houston airport, I put it DOWN!!! Me putting it down at the resturants in at the airport almost caused me to miss my connection flight. Seriously, I almost didn't make it. My legs were so big that I could barely walk to my terminal and pull my luggage. I was practically in tears, I was sweating. That walk was so painful. I made it with no time to spare.

I came home, feeling defeated. I put on my happy face, acted as if all was well, and kept moving. I kept living out the outside, but inside, I was dead......