I took it serious at first. I followed the doctor's orders, I followed the diabetic diet, I took my meds, I checked my blood sugar like I was supposed too. Then............. I got off track, I figured out that I could cheat a little and be okay. Well, it went from cheating a little bit, to cheating a whole lot.
I didn't like this stupid disease, not at all. The thing about being a diabetic is................. it is internal, so you really can't see what is going on, and some days, you can't feel it. Truth of the matter is, this disease kills you slowly internally and you don't even realize it. You can trick yourself, trust me I know. I would eat all the wrong stuff, then take an extra pill, drink a lot of water and get my blood sugar back down. Right before it was time for me to do my fasting blood work for my doctor, I would straigthen up. For about 3 to 4 weeks, I would be the perfect diabetic. Then I would go, do my blood work and the doctor not know. You see, the doctor made the mistake of telling me how the blood recycles itself blah, blah, blah. So, I figured out how to keep my doctor from knowing that I wasn't really doing right. PUTTING THAT IN WRITING MADE ME REALIZE I WAS SO STUPID!!!! You see, I have this thing called Nicole's logic. That was Nicole's logic. Yeah, I fooled the doctor, but at the end of the day, I was only HURTING myself.
You see, in my mind, as long as I had the medicine, I was fine. I mean I didn't have high blood pressure, my cholesterol was good. All that was wrong was my SUGAR was a little high.
Well, after about 3 or 4 years of my SUGAR being a little high and me manipilating the doctor, the below happened:
- I developed high blood pressure. (I now know that the reason most diabetics have high blood pressure is because of the sugar in your blood. So even though I didn't have high blood pressure at first, years of too high sugar levels made this happen)
- The tips of my fingers lost a lot of sensitivity. (Years of pricking myself to check my sugar, caused the tips of my fingers to harden. This is something that happens to all diabetics)
- Developed extra scabby skin on my feet. I have to keep my feet done. I won't even go into this, because I am sensitive about my feet.
- Vision got worse. Yeap..........
Now, other things happened as well..........
You see when your blood sugar is high or low you just don't feel good. Actually, you feel like crap. However, you become so used to feeling like crap that you don't even realize you don't feel good. Well diabeties also affects:
Your energy level
Your attitude
Your mood
I had NO energy. All I wanted to do was sit, but I couldn't so I would PUSH through. Well, pushing through no energy makes me irriatable! When your blood sugar isn't stable, meaning it spikes because you don't have it in check, your mood spikes with it. Now that my sugar is in check, people tell me how moody and how mean I was. It actually hurts me because those of you who really know me know that I am the opposite of mean. So for people to preceive me as mean hurts me deeply.
Okay, this post is geeting too long. I have so much more to say about my years as a diabetic, and how this disease affected me.............. I have some new not so good stories to tell ya'll......... Stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment